Behind the Scenes at FF57
by Binkari
Summary: FF 57...the mysterious project. Aya Brea co-starring! Characters from FF8.
1. Default Chapter

Behind the Scenes of Parasite Eve & Final Fantasy 8  
  
==========  
It's kinda like a crossover. I got the idea from the FF8 Bloopers RiNoA wrote. Dang...those were a laugh and a half ^.^  
  
Disclaimer: Aya Brea, Parasite Eve, FF8 and characters are ALLLLLL © Squaresoft. They're not mine, but sometimes I wish they were. Mwahaha..  
==========  
  
[The Director's room]  
  
Director: Well, you see, the name is called Final Fantasy 57. The story includes some of Square's best characters and such. We've chosen Aya Brea from Parasite Eve 1 AND 2...and then the characters from Final Fantasy 8. And...  
  
*the director takes sip of "apple juice," then spits it out quickly*  
  
Director: UGH! What is this?! It takes like pis--  
  
*Zell rushes in and looks spots the cup the director is holding.*  
  
Zell: There's the urine sample! The doctor needs that!   
  
*the director glares at Zell*  
  
Zell: Whoa, don't tell me you drank that, you gotta be pretty stupid to do that!  
Director: GET OUT!!!!  
  
*Zell backs away, taking the cup*  
  
[In Aya's trailer]  
  
*Seifer enters the trailer. Aya turns around, topless*  
  
Aya: SEIFER! WHAT THE $%#@ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!  
  
*she covers her chest with a pillow*  
*Squall just happens to wander by*  
  
Squall: !! *he peeks into the trailer* ...Niiice...go Seifer. *snickers*   
Seifer: Shut up, puberty boy.  
Squall: ....  
Seifer: Don't make me complete that scar of yours...  
Squall: Huh?  
Seifer: *drawing his gunblade* 'X' marks the spot.  
Squall: ACK!  
  
*Squall runs off, Seifer turns back to Aya*  
  
Seifer: Wow..this is better than that shower scen--  
  
*He's interrupted as Aya chucks a video cassette at him*  
  
[In Quistis' trailer]  
  
*Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa sit there, practicing lines for the story*  
  
Quistis: All right, Selphie, from the top.   
Selphie: Okie dokie.  
Quistis: Selphie watch out!  
Selphie: Watch out for what?  
  
*Quistis slaps forehead*   
  
Selphie: What?  
Quistis: Nevermind...let's start from another part of the story.   
Irvine: This is great!  
Rinoa: Huh?  
Irvine: *putting his arm around Rinoa* I'm surrounded by 3 beautiful chicks. Could this get any better?   
  
*Aya walks into the trailer*  
  
Irvine: WHOA! She be a hottie, too!  
Aya: *points to Irvine* He's the town drunk, right?   
Irvine: Only drunk for your love.  
Aya: ....  
  
*Aya sits down next to Quistis and pulls out her script*  
  
Aya: Where are you guys?  
  
*Quistis points out the line to Aya*  
  
Aya: Mmmk...uh...that's Zell's line.  
Selphie: Where IS Zell?  
Irvine: Aw, don't worry 'bout him, sexy lady, he's probably in his trailer.  
Quistis: I'll go check.  
  
[In Zell's trailer]  
  
*Quisits walks in, and peeks in, seeing Zell drawing on his face with a black sharpie*  
  
Quistis: Uhm...Zell? What are you doing..?  
Zell: *surprised* AH! DON'T LOOK AT ME! *hides his face and falls off the chair*  
  
*Quisitis grabs his hands and looks at his face, seeing a half completed tattoo on his cheek*  
  
Quistis: !! So it's not real?!  
Zell: Of course not! I...I...I was too scared to get a real one..  
Quistis: *snickers* I see. Is your hair real, too? *pulls his hair*  
Zell: OW! Yes! Now, what are you doing in my trailer?  
Quistis: We're practicing lines, get moving.  
Zell: Ok, lemme finish my tattoo.  
Quistis: NO. *she grabs him and drags him out*  
  
[Back in Quistis' trailer]  
  
*Quistis walks in again, Zell following quite a distance behind her, a paper bag over his head*  
Selphie: Ok, Zell, I know teenage acne's embarrassing, but you don't have to hide your face.  
Zell: *running into the door jamb* Oh #@$%! Who put a door frame there?   
Aya: *looking up* Maybe you should cut eye holes in that bag of yours.  
Selphie: *grabbing a pair of scissors* I'll do it for ya, Zell!  
Zell: OW! MY EYE!   
Selphie: Er...oops?  
Aya: *shaking her head* Teenagers...  
  
*Director runs in*  
  
Director: All right people! On the set! Hurry up, chop chop! Where are Squall and Seifer.  
  
*Blade clashing sounds in background*  
  
Director: Oh no..  
  
[To be continued...] 


	2. Chapter 2

[On the set]  
  
*Squall and Seifer run in, sliding into a dramatic pose, only to receive annoyed looks from the rest of the cast*  
  
Squall: ....I TOLD you doing this wouldn't work!  
Seifer: Shut up, let's just get back to normal. *stands up* Well?  
Squall: ....  
Seifer: What's wrong?  
Squall: I can't move.  
Seifer: And why would that be?  
Squall: My pants are too tight .  
Seifer: ....MEDIC.  
Squall: AH! MY LEGS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!  
  
[Same scene, this time, Squall's in a looser pair of leather pants.]  
  
*Aya, Selphie, and Quistis are on the set, a jungle scene. A monster pops up*  
  
Selphie: Oh my gosh! That's big!  
Quistis: We can take it.  
Aya: Bring it on, Fatty.  
Quistis: Did you just call me fat?  
Aya: No, no! The monster!  
Selphie: It's not fat. Looks kinda skinny to me.  
Director: Cut. What are you doing?  
Quistis: I thought she called me fat!  
Aya: I didn't!  
Selphie: STOP ARGUING!  
  
*Selphie runs off, sobbing. Irvine tries to catch her and comfort her, but is knocked over*  
  
Irvine: Aw man...Selphie! Irvine wants a hug!  
Selphie: *from trailer* IRVINE'S NOT GONNA GET A HUG!  
Direction: Argh..get to your places, people.   
  
[Back in the jungle scene. Everyone gets their lines right and Aya is knocked down.]  
  
Aya: dot dot dot  
Director: CUT! Aya, what are you doing?!  
Aya: I'm reciting my lines!  
Director: Ok. "...." is NOT said, "dot dot dot." It's a mumble, like Squall!  
Squall: What?  
Director: Nothing, Squall.  
Squall: Are you making fun of me again?!  
Director: Of course not.  
Squall: ....  
Director: THAT'S IT! That's THE mumble! Do what Squall did!  
Aya: Ok...  
Director: Let's take it again, everyone!  
  
[Backstage]  
  
Selphie: WAAAAAHHHHHHH!  
Irvine: Selphie, honey, what's wrong?  
Selphie: They..*sniff* won't *sniff sniff* stop arguing *blows nose: ppppppppfffftttt!*  
Irvine: Aw, Irvine will make you feel better! *hugs her*  
Selphie: Teehee! I lub you, Irvine!  
Irvine: I love you too, Selphie.  
Familiar voice: AWWWWWW. How sweet! I'm getting cavities.  
Selphie: SEIFER!  
  
*Seifer turns off the video camera and runs off*  
  
Selphie: Git your trench-coated butt over here, Seifer!  
Seifer: Can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread ma--OOF.  
  
*Seifer runs into Zell*  
  
Seifer: Watch where you're going, chicken-wuss! *notices that Zell's wearing a paper bag over his head* What the hell are you wearing?  
Zell: Nothing...*he walks off*  
Seifer: Riiight. Now, I gotta send this film to 'Days of Our Lives'  
Selphie: Oh no you don't!  
Seifer: *turning around* WHA?!  
  
*Selphie attempts to tackle him, but heavy boots, long legs, and a short skirt don't really go together. She trips.*  
  
Irvine: Ah! Selphie! I'll save you! *catches her, but hits the floor himself, Selphie on top of him. His hat falls off and Selphie's hair gets messed up, making it look like they just made out on the floor*  
Seifer: *taking a picture* ALL RIGHT! * runs off*  
  
*Selphie cries*  
  
Irvine: It's not THAT bad...hehe.  
  
[Onward!]  



	3. Mwahaha..

===========  
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine.  
===========  
  
[the scene is set. A large building with Zell, Quistis, and Irvine on it. All are against a green screen so they can do special affects to make the building appear 50 stories high]  
  
Zell: Oh my god! What are we gonna do?!  
Quistis: Better think of something, those hungry monsters are coming after us!  
Irvine: Yeah, I'm too young to di--HI SELPHIE!  
  
*Selphie looks at Irvine and waves, smiling. Director slaps his forehead and groans*  
  
Director: Cut...IRVINE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!  
Irvine: I'm just saying 'Hi' to my girl  
Selphie: *giggle* teehee!  
Director: ....  
Squall: *from his little movie star folding chair* Hey! That's my mumble! Mine, you hear?!  
Director: ...whatever.  
Squall: That's mine too! Quit copying me! I'll sue!  
Director: Arg...take twelve...  
  
[same scene]  
  
Quistis: We better think of something, those hungry monsters are coming after us!  
Irvine: Oh god, I don't wanna die!  
Zell: We gotta jump for it!  
Quistis: It's too far!  
Irvine: Not in the name of love it isn't! I'm doin' this for you, Selphie!  
Director: CUT! Irvine! Stop mentioning Selphie.  
Irvine: But I love her with all my heart, my soul, and mind. I cannot be without her, for what would I do without my precious brunnette shrine of happiness and beauty.  
Zell & Quistis: Awwwww  
Director: You'd get paid. Take thirteen...  
  
[you know the drill]  
  
Zell: We gotta jump for it!  
Quistis: It's too far!  
Irvine: Let's do this! Sink or swim, do or die!  
  
*Aya walks across the set, licking an ice cream cone, ruining the shot.*  
  
Director: Cut! AYA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WE'RE FILMING!  
Aya: *hand on hip* Geez, someone's grumpy. I have a date with Kyle, I'll be back tomorrow.  
Director: What?! Get back here!  
Aya: *turns around and sticks her tongue out* Nya.  
Director: ....  
Squall: That's it! I'm suing!  
Director: *shaking head* Take fourteen.  
Zell: My feet hurt.  
Director: AUGH.  
  
[Taking a break]  
  
Zell: I think my tattoo is wearing off.  
Quistis: I told you not to use washable markers!  
Zell: But my sharpie ran outta ink!  
Quistis: *handing him a sharpie* Get going.  
Zell: Woo! Thanks, Quisty. *he hugs her and runs off*  
  
*Seifer comes out from the shadows*  
  
Seifer: What? Do now you're going out with him, Quistis?  
Quistis: The hell? What are you talking about?  
Seifer: What do you see in him?  
Quistis: Seifer, I'm NOT going out with him. He's just a friend.  
Seifer: Sure, sure. I see what you mean.  
Quistis: Good.  
Seifer: You two made out behind the set.  
Quistis: WHAT?!  
Seifer: Don't deny it.   
Quistis: ?  
Seifer: I-I-I...  
Quistis: I love you, Seifer.  
Seifer: YES. *looks at the camera held by Rajin who is hiding in a corner in a rafter* Did you get that?  
Rajin: Yup.  
Quistis: SEIFER!  
Seifer: Sorry, babe. Gotta run! *dashes off*  
Quistis: ....ARG.  
  
[Back on the set. Now, the scene is a bed scene *prrrrrf*]  
  
*Rinoa and Squall sit in bed together*  
  
Director: Annnd...ACTION.  
Rinoa: Oh, Squall, I thought we would never make it through that time compression! It would have been terrible if one of use didn't make it.  
Squall: ....  
Rinoa: Don't be so introverted! I know you care about every one of us.  
Squall: ...whatever.  
Rinoa: ARG! STOP BEING SO STUBBORN!  
  
*Rinoa pushes Squall down on the bed and straddles over him. Seifer walks by with his trusty video cam*  
  
Seifer: WHOA! Hey, Director, how long is these scene gonna last?  
Director: Shh...I'm not sure...maybe about another 5 minutes...  
Seifer: Hmm, that doesn't give me much time.   
  
*Seifer slaps on a black catsuit and harness. He ties himself onto the lights and lowers himself slowly in a Mission: Impossible sorta style. Taking out his trusty camera, he mutes it and tapes the two in the bed from above. Rinoa's swaying adds to the excitement*  
  
Seifer: This is gold...hehehe..  
Rinoa: Squall! Tell me what's wrong!  
Squall: ....  
  
*Everyone is oblivious to Seifer hanging above them, catching this all on tape. Suddenly, the rope snaps. Seifer falls on Rinoa*  
  
Seifer: Hreh. It's all good *wink*  
Rinoa: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SEIFER? YOU BIG MEANY!  
  
*Rinoa scratches him relentlessly with her overly long nails*  
  
Seifer: Ow! Quit it!   
Rinoa: *Scratch scratch*  
Seifer: AH MY FACE!  
Squall: *muffled* ...air...need...air...  
Seifer: What's that, Puberty boy?  
Squall: Hey, Rinoa, nice bra, but can you get off of me?  
Rinoa: Bra? Eh? Oh...right.  
  
*Rinoa gets, knocking Seifer to the floor*  
  
Seifer: I'm outta here.  
Rinoa: Let's get him.  
Squall: Agreed.  
  
*Squall and Rinoa run after Seifer*  
  
Director: WAIT! THE SCENE! WE NEED TO GET THIS FILM DONE!  
  
*groans*  
  
Director: Bloody teenagers.  
  
[Chapter 4 comin' soon!]  
  



End file.
